"Baby, I'm Bad News, Bad News, Bad News..."

So, I was going to go all ranty this evening after reading an excellent article on the brewing culture war in the US right now by NY Times writer Frank Rich..seek it out, you won't be disappointed. But, then I got all absorbed in Life of Pi, which for some reason I managed to polish off all today. A tingle of pride floats to the surface.

But, I've heard from many a source, of varying degrees, that this book will make you believe in the capital-g god. Meh. It was excellently written, a compelling story, and told with grace, humility and wit. A believe of me it did not make, though. And i have one or more sticking points with how he attacks agnostics. Doubt rules the world, unfortunately, but it's a fact is a fact. I doubt, doubt me, doubt everything once in a while. If not for doubt, what would we have left but to follow in the steps of soldiers, blindly marching into war?

Whoa, pull back a second. That was uber-pretentious. My one biggest fear, which I may have mentioned before, is sounding pretentious. Well, that and rejection, tossed in with a healthy mix of vampires and snakey things. But, I hate sounding pretentious, and what I worry is that whenever i start to talk in terms of liberal values versus stupidity, I sound exactly like some loft-dwelling neo-liberal bullshitter who fancies themselves a new bohemian for our indie-hipster dazed orgy or some such that i just spewed in that last sentence right there and the words before and after it. so, i try and stay out of that down-beaten path, and concentrate upwards and downwards at the same time, forever ignoring my own plunderous blights. is blight a word? meh, watch me as i type frantically onwards, unconcerened with sleep, which i need to get since i noticed the bags under my eyes have carry-on luggage of their own and it's only a matter of time before 4 hours becomes the norm, and 5 a luxury.

still, we got the fcc blaming networks for airing freakin' Saving Pvt. Ryan. we got the only moderate in gwb's house of scary people gone. we have a gospel singing former provost heading up our neighbour's foreign dilly dallies. we have people so filled with hate they can't watch two dudes kiss, or two ladies. we got people saying this about your body, that about your tongue. hold on to both, for dear life, because the world's turning into one big bengal tiger, isn't it? and for those keeping score, i am most definitely not drunk, just blowing off rhetorical alcohol steam. it's gotta happen, and it happens every now and then while we're asleep at the wheel, careening into this mess, and i so just know that was spelled wrong, so sic it, sic it.

in our new age, war is heck, and sex is a muted discussion best held in the halls of the Sanctity, and left alone by our art. our art has to be filtered through the scope of sixty years past, and i fear i'm running low on rantfuelage as this goes on and on. it's only a matter of time before war is a reality tv show..see who dies first, who falls in love, and who the big surprise guest is behind the curtain. i fear we'll all be madly disappointed when it pulls open and reveals the big reveal.

tigers and ocean lifeboats and hunger for something larger than algae-forming islands. it's what we're all looking for, so, take it in once in a while.

and, gosh, rilo kiley is addictive music.

"There's Blood in My Mouth, 'Cause I've Been Biting My Tongue All Week..."

Ya know, I've been getting just right sick and tired of my head and its various processes. I've identified the problem, which is a start, but there's still no solution that's presenting itself. I just worry worry worry about anything, everything, when there probably is nothing to worry about. Like, things will be fine, great even, and then I will literally go searching through my head to find something that isn't fine, whether it's small or large. And then, I will proceed to carefully worry myself to death over it. Fcukers, I mean. I can't seem to stop. If it's not one thing, it's another. And I will not rest until that thing is done with, and then, have about ten minutes of calm, before, there it is, I have another thing to worry about. Way to go, brain. I need this to stop, it's beyond the stage of annoyance.

In other news, anyone who even remotely takes my music suggestions to heart (is there anyone..?), listen to the band Rilo Kiley, particularly their new album "More Adventurous". Best indie-hipster-love-lorn-yeah voice since Emily Haines, though the band itself is less, erm, musically adventurous. Still, great fix of an album. Also, even if you haven't seen "I Heart Huckabees" (which i am sadly guilty of...but hopefully not for long!), listen to Jon Brion's amazing score. The guy's been around a while, usually working with like-minded musical brain favs like Aimee Mann, Michael Penn, and director PT Anderson, so all you LA-indie fans, do yourselves a favor. And, I'm done. Back to essay work...slow, but steady, essay work...

Every now and then

- I'll wake up with a panic attack in the gap of my throat.

- I'll wonder endlessly about the meaningless of meaningless things

- I'll look for errors in logic

- I'll search for reasons to worry

- I'll worry I'm worrying to much

- I'll learn to suck it up and have fun

- I'll make a soundtrack of the day:

The Futureheads - Decent Days and Nights
Scissor Sisters - T**ts on the Radio
Mos Def - Sex, Love and Money
Kanye West - We Don't Care
Aimee Mann - Guys Like Us
Jon Brion - Knock Yourself Out
Keane - Can't Stop Now
Coheed and Cambria - Devil in Jersey City
The Donnas - Take It Off

Yeah, No.

So, it looks like that's that. Save a hail mary at the bottom of the ninth, four more, ladies and gents. Looks like P. Diddy will in fact have to kill people, shame that is. Taking bets for riots in the streets. Anyone? Shizer.