This Is The Point In The Movie Where It Gets Interesting

I love coming up with these random, vague-ish titles. Although, that one's less vague than most, I guess. I'm feeling less detached now, in terms of writing, any ways. There's a connection, somewhere. I'm not saying it's staring right in front of me, but it's there moreso. Maybe it's to compensate, for what I'm not sure.

I made a promise to myself the other day to start writing something, anything, fictional or loosely so, at least 5 pages a night. Every night. And see what turns out at the end of the summer. So far, this has amounted to nothing at all. I was actually slightly embarrassed the other day as I ran into someone from my high school who now works with a publishing company, and she wondered if i still wrote a lot (back then, she was in my creative writing class and i wrote practically every day something new...), and I actually had to pseudo-lie and say "uhm, yep, sure, still writing different kinds of stuff." Argh. At that point I got frustrated and nearly signed it in blood that I would write something, anything, this summer. But, maybe. Maybe I'll do it right now..maybe. My posts tend to end off with "maybe" a lot, don't they.

"Let's Go Away For A While.."

Seriously, just leave, without packing, and get out of here. Go off somewhere and decide once away how long to stay. Hey, I sorta rhymed there. But i want to go, where i'm not in the same environment. I want to get a new perspective, a new view. I had this strange desire this afternoon while stacking tofu something or other that I really desperately want to get stranded somewhere in Buenos Aires at a rainy telephone booth where I can't even read the instructions to call the operator. Or something like that. And this truck with a poor awning and one flat tire, or a tire on its way to being flat, drives by, ignoring my plight. But, somehow, I manage. I want to do something like that. I can't really explain it all that well.

Or maybe I'd like to walk among the ponds and stone gardens in Japan somewhere. Learn to eat with chopsticks properly, or get lost in the neon haze of downtown Shinjuku. Walk aimlessly among the letters i could never hope to understand and the eyes that gaze past me.

Or walk around without care on the sandy beaches of Fiji. It's so close. The sun setting on everything, but it doesn't get cool. Only so much that a warm blanket would be more than enough to shield everything else off.

The ancient streets of somewhere in Western Europe. A language I don't understand. Signs pointing me in circles and my backpack weighing me down like a burden of bricks.

Or be in a stupor wandering around the busy metropolis of Vegas, losing so much time because the whole damned place is one big casino with no natural light or clocks, and wondering where the time and money went. Maybe i'll skip that one until I'm rich enough to lost it all.

Or ___________________ (insert own idea here...).

It would be nice, though. And the journey would be half the fun. Listening to music, walking, driving, being a passenger somehow. Watching the roads go by, and with it everything else. For just a little bit, it'd be nice.

Maybe some day soon.

That's No Hyperbole...

I have no idea what that title means. Just sort of jumped out at me. I've been trying to write this blog a bit different the last day or two, but all the posts have gone into the scrapped pile. Well, they're still in notepad somewhere, but maybe i'll post them someday. It struck me earlier that i'm entering my third year of university, which nearly crippled my brain. Has it really been that long? Have i accomplished everything i wanted to? Do i even have ambition to accomplish things?

What am I going towards? I try to think of my life five years from now, and I honestly can't tell you what I see. It's scary, keeps me awake sometimes. This isn't to say there aren't good things..there are so many good things it's hard to believe sometimes. I'm constantly amazed by how many amazing things there are in my life. At the same time, I'm always worrying about the future, about the even the past, about 5 minutes ago, and if it will affect everything else. It's nerve-racking.

I've always had these neuroticisms, these bouts of self-doubt, they're me. Mark was commenting the other day that it seems to have lessened, so i can only imagine how bad it was back in high school. Bad, I guess.

I also had a horrible dream last night. It was extremely vivid, especially this one part where i was shot in the arm or something. I didn't feel any pain, i don't think i've ever felt any sensations in dreams come to think of it, but it was surreal. I don't know why i brought that up all of a sudden, but there it is all the same.

I'm also a bit worried there hasn't been a piece of music that has deeply affected me in a little bit. I used to get very emotional over certain kinds of music, probably because it was a period i was in where dashboard confessional and john mayer were heavy figures, but the music out right now just isn't hitting me for some reason. There's nothing there, emotionally hollow a bit. There's some tremendous stuff to listen to, some excellent rock coming out, but nothing that's hitting me where it's supposed to. I'm not sure if this is good or bad or anything.

I was also at work today and for a moment i found myself dumbfounded. Just frozen as I was putting away something. I get those moments sometimes, everything I've thought of over the last little while comes colliding head-on in my mind, everything crashes into each other making a mess. I get frozen. I don't take as much time to myself to think honestly with myself for long periods of time, I'll worry and doubt and such, but not to think and evaluate and everything. I get frozen when I do.

Barry's Season Finale Wrap-Up:

WARNING: Spoliers and extreme geeky-ness to follow:

So, we've come to the end of the 2003-04 television season, and with the few shows that i still manage to watch, there has been some definite controversy over their endings and when they are coming back. All I can say is that after Sopranos ends this weekend, and the june run of Six Feet Under goes dark before Sept, I will literally have nothing to watch come Sept. Which can be a really good thing now that I think about it, but nontheless. They expect me to wait how bloody long until I found out what the hell is up with "Alias"??? And, thankfull, sorta, "24" didn't end with any cliffhangers, but still, I was expecting just a bit more. Here's the roundup:

Alias - I'm still so bloody confused about this one. So, we find out Jack was working on some secret project since Sydney's birth that had both her AND Lauren as pawns in it? What was it? Project Christmas? If that's the case, we already knew that, so what could it be? Is he head of the covenant? That's not possible, since it was a cia-sanctioned document...So, what then? Argh. It frustrated the hell out of me. But, there's this interesting rumor floating around that ABC put a tidbit in thier ep recaps that apparently got cut that involved Syd reading those other document pages that say Jack wasn't in jail while she was missing for 2 years, and that he has been tracking Nadia since she was born as well. Uhm, okay. Still, unanswered questions remain, such as: Who is head of the covenant? Where is Irina (i heard she was coming back for an appearance this season)? How did McKennis Cole escape? Does Sark JUST get captured, is that his job or something? How is Vaughan's father involved in all of this? What about Lauren's evil mother? Is Nadia now as evil as Sloane? Is Sloane Rambaldi? What? Huh? I'm confused. And i just realized how many question marks are in this sentence, which in itself is scary.

24 - I guess it ended alright. At least they didn't put in any cliffhangers where i wouldn't get to see it for another 9 months or so (cough, alias, cough). But, then again, last season's cliffhanger didn't even get resolved! What about Palmer's hand disease? Argh. And, i carefully avoided spoilers for the last ep, but the false spoilers that were out there were so much cooler than what happened! Saunders not acting alone, more Drazen footage, etc. They never came true! Sigh. All in all, a good episode, though, and I'm glad Chase isn't returning, he never caught on. Too bad about Saunders lame departure though. Taken out by Gael's wife? Not some super bad/good guy? Boring. Palmer's resignation? Meh. Isn't Keeler going to get suspicious of that? Palmer's story arc this year was actually all over the map, and not nearly exciting as Jack's. They have to remember whatever they do next season, tie it into the Jack/CTU storyline, or else it isn't worth it. I still miss Salazar, though, one of the best 24 villains so far. Saunders was alright, but Salazar was a blast.

The Sorpanos - Good gravy. This season is just brilliance. The old sopranos maxim holds true here, with only the odd numbered seasons being great (though i still think season two had some really good stuff in it, namely Richie Aprile, and here's hoping the curse will be broken with the last season next year). That "test dream" last week? Argh, i couldn't believe my eyes, it was just too good. Had to watch it at least twice, and even then i probably missed about 50 references. It wasn't a test dream for Tony, but for the viewers. Only could this show reference the following: about 10 dead characters in blink-and-miss-them appearances, the godfather, bugsy, sherlock holmes, pie-o-mie, a christmas carol, impotency, goodfellas, frankenstien, tolberone, and it's own damn credit sequence in one incredible 21 minute segment. I keep on reading that people hated that episode for its lack of plot development (which i still don't understand...two major characters were killed!), for which i guess this week's more than made up for. Tony moving back in, Johnny Sack taking over from Little Carmine (happening off-screen, yet!..second major event, the other being Tony B's hit on Phil's brother and thus sealing his and Tony's fate), and Adriana's eventual fate, which actually surprised me (i really thought she was going to the hospital), and made me incredibly sad. And it's final masterstroke was essentially ensuring that Tony, Chris, Silvio, et al. are the bad guys. Of sorts. Chris getting beat up by Tony at the end was a masterstroke...we are to have no sympathy for these characters, but yet, the constructs of the show all but force us to. My poor attempt at predicting the season finale: Tony starts war with Johnny Sack for the sake of Tony B; Chris is racked with guilt and becomes a mess this season and the next, and is useless to Tony now; Paulie goes over to Johnny Sack's side; Artie continues to be irksome, and, something with Janice and Bobby. Maybe. I dunno. This season has completely surprised me, and I don't think the finale will be any different.

Phew, I'm exhausted...now, only a few more weeks until tv's truly great drama (tied with the sopranos now...always in constant flux, though), "Six Feet Under", returns. Oh, and "Carnivale" should be up and running soon, hopefully...maybe..a boy can dream.

I Really Need To Post More

SOTD:
Modest Mouse - Black Cadillacs
Incubus - A Crow Left of the Murder
Franz Ferdinand - The Dark of the Matinee
The Strokes - What Ever Happened
Matt Good - Alert Status Red
White Stripes - Black Math
Modest Mouse - Float On

Singed..

I was trying to come up with a somewhat cool-soundingish name for "fired", but that was the best i could come up with. Ah well. But, yes, so that's it for me, unfortunately, at the globe and mail telemarketing thingy. I didn't make any sales before noon today, which was a fairly stressful three hours or so of recent memory, each call trying to squeak out a sale or something besides an answering machine. Alas, no luck. And then, that was it. I just find it ironic that I actually had more days I was down there for interviews than actually working. Weird. But, it allowed me to take another afternoon off downtown, so that was alright. Thankfully, once again, I avoided temptation to buy anything...I'm hoping to make it a regular habit.

But, now on to more pleasant things, like Cannes. I was kind of unsure about Michael Moore's new doc on the Bin Laden/Bush ties. Not really because i doubted some of the facts, but because I though i knew in the back of my head that it all seemed like a huge publicity grab and another one of Moore's over-large gestures of showmanship. I just had this feeling the thing was going to flop, be overhyped, and panned as a quicky attempt by ultra-left Moore to discredit the Bush administration and further his own celebrity. All of which would inevitably end up hurting the left's true causes of getting Bush out of office and generally besmirching (spelling?) democrats and Moore's own up to the point somewhat solid rep, neither of which would be good. But, it looks like I was, ahem *cough*, uhm...well, wrong. The film premiered this morning, and the early reviews look like it's going to be about ten times bigger than his last groundbreaker, "Bowling For Columbine" and essentially get Bush out of office come election time. But now, of course, i MUST SEE IT RIGHT NOW. Seriously, can we all go to Cannes, right now? Please?

*Plus, other films I really want to see and am throwing my poor predicting sense into coming out big: Kar Wai Wong's "2046" and Chan-wook Park's "Old Boy"...

I Was Just Chased By A Moth

The Scene: Me, coming home around 2:30 from a very fun night on the town (both downtown and up) with the jeb crew (hillbillyish name, i know...), and I approached the side door. In my innocence, I thought it was just a leaf as I swiped it away from the side door to my house...oh, how I was wrong. And thus began the five-minute freak-out chase of the moth vs. me, around the side of the house, to the garage, and up to the front door, where I think I finally lost it. Still, a very jarring experience.

The Globe and Mail Is Good, Very Good...You Like the Globe and Mail, Don't You?

So, yes, I don't like this new blogger design one bit. Too urban chic. Or maybe i mean art deco. Yes, too urban art deco chich. And such. Too cool for school, aka not my style.

But, this morning i attended my second interview (re: last week's post of the morning from hell), and lo and behold, looks like i have a job. Hooray! It's still all a bit sketchy, and i'm sure there's so much subliminal messages going on in there it's not funny (well, a bit), but a job's a job. And jobs = money, i think, and thus barry needs one. It all looks set for moving out this year, which should all be very exciting and stuff. My brother even offered to give me $5 each month if I move out. What a nice guy.

Otherwise, today it's ridiculously nice outside, and boiling. All of which made me want to go swimming quite badly. When I was younger, and a bunch of my friends had outdoor pools, I wanted one more than anything in the world. It was a bit like that "Simpsons" bit with "canwehaveapooldadcanwehaveapooldad???". Yet, they never caved. But, a nice swim right now would be very nice.

This and That....Mainly That

Time for a point form list of randomness in my life/head...it's kinda late too, so it may be all over the place, but here goes:
- People really do eat weird things...and those weird things must all be organic, or else
- I desperately need a 5-minutes-ago time machine, it would help so much
- Falling asleep at 4:15 in the afternoon and waking up later on makes me feel sick and crappy
- Walking in the rain = fun, driving in the rain = not so much fun
- Is it really bad when you actually weap a bit (alright, cry) during the last episode of a tv show?
- I question myself overly
- Pizza must be served with dipping sauce...or some sort of sauce...otherwise, it just ain't right
- My computer is making awfully funny noises as of late..and not haha funny, but more along the disturbingly funny line
- I am very glad "Nowhere Man" is on Bit torrent...now, if it would just not take forever to download..
- I tend to forget what day it is
- Jazz clubs are very fun, and they certainly take a shining to surprising you with the bill
- I have a very good feeling about this summer
- I have just recieved an email from Delmy Spofford...who is apparently really interested in selling me cheap, cheap, amazingly cheap xxx movies
- Has anyone invented that 5-minute time machine yet? Nope? Damn
- I don't want to wake up early for work tomorrow...why did i take that shift?

"Sometimes you eat the bar, and sometimes..."

This morning was none too pleasant. After staying up perhaps later than I should have watching "Larry Sanders" (the only time i can ever catch it, CBS at Midnite, Sundays), I had to wake up early this morning for a job interview. The place is kind of sketchy-sounding, a telemarketing firm selling paper subscriptions downtown, but the pay is good and the hours are flexible enough to work around Noah's.

Yet, the morning did not go as planned. Figuring I would have enough time to make it downtown, and be a bit professionally early for the interview at 10:30, I planned to leave the house at about a quarter after 9. This morning, I woke up at 9:10. My alarm didn't go off. Or, if it did, I failed to realize. So, within about ten-ish minutes, I did my usual morning routine in one of those funny speed-uped versions that are always on bad sitcoms. Come to think of it, my morning today was like a bad sitcom. But, yes, speeding out sans shower and shave, grabbing whatever clothes i could think of, madly printing off a copy of my resume, grabbing a notepad, bottle of water, etc. And all of this while it felt my stomach was about to explode. Literally. It hurt when i tried to get up, or move around. I don't know what it was, but it took me an extra couple of minutes just to compose myself before I could even move around. It's feeling better now, but I sure put it through hell this morning, namely by running like a madman to catch the bus. That wasn't being too kind to dear ol' stomach, but I think it forgave me when I fed it delicious chicken for lunch. We're on better terms now.

So, I managed to get on the bus, this was about 9:45 or so, and got to the subway station around 10. Everything was going smooth, except for the fact i was aggravated already having the slowest possible bus driver in the GTA, who just decided to pull over at a green light, wait for another one to pass, and then go...it was like he was taunting me. But, I get to the subway station, to lo and behold, a delay. Gotta love the TTC...and they want to raise fares? Hmm....

But, we started moving eventually, and eventually I made it downtown with 5 minutes to spare before the interview was supposed to start. I get into the office to find yet another surprise, about 30 people all for the same interview. And one really, insanely annoying woman trying to get everyone to talk about the leaf's game and how this job we may be interviewing could be a cult, and if it was said cult, she would laugh at each and every one of us for the next ten years. Nice lady. Then, we were greeted by the manager who said hello, well, not so much "hello", but moreso "what the fuck?" when he saw us all there. Apparently, they had over-booked interviews. Some of us would have to go. Those who got there first could stay, and all others would be re-scheduled. So, after agreeing to come back either Wed or next Monday, I found myself downtown, with nothing particular to do, at 10:40. With a stomach ache. And sweaty. And flummoxed (hm, i like that word...hope i used it right).

But, the day was not lost. I walked around a bit, went to Indigo, determined to shake off my bad morning and stomach, and then did the usual jaunt to chinatown in search of the elusive Japan-cut of Kill Bill (no luck yet, but i did find the Hong Kong cut), grabbed lunch with Mark and Jenna (who just finished their last exam today), and sat in the park for a while...so, all was not lost. Plus, I've been re-listening to the Ambulance Ltd. album, and it's growing on me ever so steadily.

And now, time for rest...